He Seems Legit: Why Am I Insecure?

So I DEFINTELY wasn’t expecting to write an article like this any time soon. After all my recent articles about heartache and failed relationships I figured maybe the whole meeting a person and just “clicking” wasn’t for me. In other words, I figured maybe I was just unclickable. Then there came this guy.

I was just minding my business and bothering no one. I wasn’t looking for a relationship or looking to like anyone, it just happened. He’s literally what I’ve been looking for – sweet, funny, smart, willing to listen to my feelings and not quick to ignore my problems, just even simply asking how my day was. Basically he’s a nice guy. The puzzle pieces fit. It clicks. He gets me, but for some reason I can’t seem to think it’s 100% real.

I mean, can you blame me? You all have seen my previous posts about meeting a guy and him seeming right for me and then 6 months later the relationship fails. It’s not a “trust your gut” situation, it’s a mind barrier that blocks me from being too emotional with him. I may tell him “I like you” from time to time, but I always think in the back of my mind “Dang, one day he might ask you to date him and what will you say”?

Y’all I’m legit scared of relationships. I’m scared of putting my all (emotionally) in someone or something and it failing. I’m scared that this strong person that I’ve built up due to past relationships failing will get hurt again and in 6 months be writing a sad post on my blog. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do. Sometimes I consider myself damaged. Not because I’m incapable of loving someone but because I’m so used to hearing bullshit and getting played that if I heard the truth, I’d probably dismiss it as B.S. as well. THIS is my problem. I’m working on it but it’s still an issue in any future relationship of mine. Any guy you tell this to will most likely run off and that’s totally understandable. But damn, what if he’s a really good guy and I’m ruining it?

Has anyone been in a situation like this? Let me know in the comment section.

Peace and blessings,

–  M

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