Honestly, 2014 is over. Yes we have almost a full month until we hear the ‘4-3-2-1’ countdown from every house on the block, but a post I saw on Instagram stated that ‘If you haven’t started on 2015, you’re already behind’. To me, that post speaks truth for a lot of people. My challenge for you all, and myself, for the 2015 year is to get over the past. Although the past reminds us of where we’ve been and encourages us to keep pushing through hard times (and grind harder), sometimes we say we’ve let go of the hurt that happened in the past and we haven’t.
While being in college, I see countless males and females a day who talk about high school romances and failed chances of winning Homecoming Queen when they are seniors in college! Some people refuse to join new clubs or make new friends, because they don’t want to let their old friends from the past go. While letting your friends from the past go is not apart of this 2015 lifestyle change (I hate the term resolution, because they always fail), learning to add new people in your circle is. Some people are only meant to be in our life for a season, and you keeping them in your life may be what’s holding you back from bigger and better things. If you constantly feel like you have to force a connection with someone in your life to make them stay and still notice that you’re even alive, maybe that’s a relationship that has already died (or is in the process of dying) and you’re still trying to salvage it. While that effort is commendable, you could be the reason why the doors that God (or your form of higher power) is trying to open in your life, is staying closed.
Another lifestyle change that needs to be OBTAINED in 2015 is the power to forgive. I myself have struggled with this. It wasn’t until I had to tell an old friend that ‘hurt’ me in the 9TH GRADE ‘happy birthday’ 2 days ago that I realized I had a problem. For a month I have been debating on whether or not I should tell him Happy Birthday because he told me Happy Birthday. A situation that may seem so petty to the average onlooker, but it was so important to me to the point of me stressing about it at night. I looked up forgiveness quotes and finally relaxed. I texted him Happy Birthday and he said Thank You. Nothing serious, but in my head I wanted it to be much more than a thank you and for him to want more than a friendship. Something the old 9th grade me would’ve wanted and longed for.
In addition to him saying Thank You, he stated “hope you’re doing well.” Now, me being the kind of person I am, I could have turned that into a whole conversation that could have lasted until morning, but instead I didn’t reply. Now you may ask “Moriah, why didn’t you reply to his message if you wanted more than a friendship?” Honestly, I have no answer to that. I just figured ‘why carry that dead relationship into 2015? He’s happy, and sh*t, I’m trying to be too.’ I’m actually very happy with myself for how I handled the situation. Some people tell us when were younger, ‘NEVER GIVE UP’! But honestly, sometimes you have to realize when the battle’s been lost and when you need to retreat and fall back, so you won’t get hurt anymore. Yes, I do ‘love’ him, but you CAN love someone from a distance. I also believe that if you love someone, you should be happy that they’re happy, even if their happiness doesn’t involve having you in their life (BITTERSWEET, I know).
How does this tie into my theme of forgiveness? Well many people think that when you forgive someone that hurt you or did you wrong, you’re giving them power over your life, or saying that what they did wasn’t wrong. NO, when you forgive someone, you’re taking the power FROM them because you’re acknowledging the hurt that they caused you and you’re telling them that they can no longer use that [the hurt they caused you] AGAINST you or hold it as a burden over your head.
I hope you all take my challenge into consideration, or share this article for a friend that needs help in this area. As always, comment what you think about the article and what lifestyle changes you plan to make in 2015 – how you plan to accomplish those changes and how those changes will change your life . Thanks for reading!